Here, have a meme!

[anactoria]

I stole this from smirnoffmule and eugenetapdance.

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the characters' heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.


I am not organized enough for an index post.

Comments

[eugenetapdance.livejournal.com]

He knows he shouldn't be surprised when he sees Adrian's grinning face plastered under that headline, but his chest clenches all the same. He's not masochistic enough to read the accompanying spiel, though -- and anyway, he already knows what it's going to say. Meteoric rise. Immense popularity. Is there nothing this man can't do? Etcetera, etcetera, etfuckingcetera.

Turning away in disgust, Dan decides to forget about the paper for today. He buys a plastic bag of jawbreakers instead. Funny, how that kind of retro candy's so popular again. It's a nostalgia thing, which is kind of ironic when you can't turn a corner without being preached at about the bright new future we're all meant to be looking forward to. People ought to be buying Flying Saucers or something, maybe those freeze-dried strawberries they sell in silver packets labelled as astronaut food.

Laurie's still out when he gets home. He tosses the plastic bag down on the kitchen counter, and that's when he notices the tiny purple 'V' logo in the bottom right hand corner.

Even candy. There's no escape.

Okay, so Adrian probably isn't exactly involved with the company these days, what with helping run the world and all, but God. Dan knows it's childish, petty, stupid -- all the things, in fact, that Adrian's so good at making people feel -- but he flings the back of sweets across the room, away from him, with sudden and searing violence. They scatter across the kitchen floor with a sound like heavy rain.

[anactoria.livejournal.com]

He knows he shouldn't be surprised when he sees Adrian's grinning face plastered under that headline, but his chest clenches all the same. He's not masochistic enough to read the accompanying spiel, though -- and anyway, he already knows what it's going to say. Meteoric rise. Immense popularity. Is there nothing this man can't do? Etcetera, etcetera, etfuckingcetera.


This is before things start to go really wrong, and in the aftermath of Karnak I sort of see Dan and Laurie wanting to forget about the bigger picture -- partly because it reminds them of Adrian's actions and the justification he used for them, partly because they're damn sick of living under that kind of mind-boggling global fear -- and just concentrate on living life day-to-day. This is Dan failing in the attempt.

He buys a plastic bag of jawbreakers instead. Funny, how that kind of retro candy's so popular again. It's a nostalgia thing, which is kind of ironic when you can't turn a corner without being preached at about the bright new future we're all meant to be looking forward to. People ought to be buying Flying Saucers or something, maybe those freeze-dried strawberries they sell in silver packets labelled as astronaut food.

SHAMELESS CHILDHOOD JUNK FOOD NOSTALGIA. And I spent fucking ages on the internet trying to find out what gobstoppers are called in America. It was originally going to be aniseed balls, but apparently you don't have those.

Even candy. There's no escape.

Okay, so Adrian probably isn't exactly involved with the company these days, what with helping run the world and all, but God. Dan knows it's childish, petty, stupid -- all the things, in fact, that Adrian's so good at making people feel -- but he flings the back of sweets across the room, away from him, with sudden and searing violence.

Really, this is just more of Dan not being able to forget what happened. I guess I was trying to get across that the whole of everyday life still seems to be pervaded by the events of '85, because that's the foundation on which this peace is built. And so clearly it is going to go Very Wrong.

[gisho.livejournal.com]

The boy who detaches himself from the group is a slight and golden creature, nineteen, maybe, beauty still undimmed by drugs or poverty or whatever it is that has brought him here. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled down -- covering track marks, probably -- but the collar is unbuttoned, exposing a pale triangle of throat. The boy steps into a pool of streetlight, holds himself out like an offering.

Michael feels his throat dry. "How much?" he cracks out.

"More than you could afford." The boy's eyebrows arch in challenge. He's still proud, this one; not broken yet. Oh, this will be sweet.

He allows himself a smirk. "You'd be surprised."

"Oh, good," the boy says. He smiles and it's an honor-roll smile, polite and charming and too bright for the scummy dockside he's standing on. This kid was probably class president once. He was probably going to be president once.

Michael beckons and the boy crosses to his side, still smiling brilliantly, and allows himself to be caught by the wrist. It's slender. Michael thinks of the boy's delicate bones pinned beneath him, the blood blooming out of that pale skin, the small animal noises of pain that will come from deep inside his chest, and his pulse quickens. He might even fuck this one first.

[anactoria.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed writing this little ficlet. It was one of those things that just seemed to come to mind fully-formed (very rare for me), plus I love fic where the reader knows more about what's going on than the POV character.

The boy who detaches himself from the group is a slight and golden creature, nineteen, maybe, beauty still undimmed by drugs or poverty or whatever it is that has brought him here.

I guess this is my attempt to show that Adrian is clearly ~*~super special~*~ and a bit odd/different, while still having Michael -- who probably isn't hugely aware or analytical -- try to fit him into what he knows, comprehend him in some way.

"More than you could afford." The boy's eyebrows arch in challenge. He's still proud, this one; not broken yet.

Teen!Adrian is a bit of a brat, and already knows how to play people. ;)

He smiles and it's an honor-roll smile, polite and charming and too bright for the scummy dockside he's standing on. This kid was probably class president once. He was probably going to be president once.

This is me failing to be subtle.

Michael thinks of the boy's delicate bones pinned beneath him, the blood blooming out of that pale skin, the small animal noises of pain that will come from deep inside his chest, and his pulse quickens. He might even fuck this one first.


And this is me trying to write a sadist. I'm not sure if it works, but I find it quite creepy.

Better late than never, right?

[oudeteron.livejournal.com]

Here's one from the sixth chapter of Solidarity:

Of course they are not friends. Dan's affection is just a kindness of which he is not -- can never be -- deserving. And the truth should not disturb him. If anything, he should be grateful. At least he has been brought back to reality before losing touch with it completely.

He resigned himself to his guilt, and to his solitude, years ago. He needs to remind himself of that fact, to distance himself. He needs to stop being so ridiculous.

And that is what he should be doing, not sitting opposite this man who stubbornly refuses him the contempt that is his due, whose earnest decency makes him feel a hundred times more unworthy, waiting for him to speak.

And yet, and yet. There is some awful hope in him that simply will not die.

Re: Better late than never, right?

[anactoria.livejournal.com]

Of course they are not friends. Dan's affection is just a kindness of which he is not -- can never be -- deserving. And the truth should not disturb him. If anything, he should be grateful. At least he has been brought back to reality before losing touch with it completely.

My view is that Adrian has never really thought of himself as a person. He kind of sees himself as a historical figure, rather than a human being with needs and mental fucked-upnesses and a desire for affection, and thinks that he ought to be above or beyond those things. When that starts to break down, he really doesn't have a clue what to do.

He resigned himself to his guilt, and to his solitude, years ago. He needs to remind himself of that fact, to distance himself. He needs to stop being so ridiculous.

Looking at this bit, I was clearly channelling the way I used to write Count D (from Petshop of Horrors, who is spookily similar to Adrian in a lot of ways, and similarly thinks that he should be above the need for connection, though for different reasons) when I wrote this. I'm obviously fairly predictable when it comes to character type.

And that is what he should be doing, not sitting opposite this man who stubbornly refuses him the contempt that is his due, whose earnest decency makes him feel a hundred times more unworthy, waiting for him to speak.

He's always considered himself above that decent, ordinary-guy kind of goodness that Dan embodies, and would've regarded it with contempt, once upon a time. Which he now sees as further proof of his own wrongness. And, tying in with what I said above, he's been expecting Dan to react to him on the level of his great big world-altering guilt, not simply as a screwed-up person who needs some reassurance. Again, he really doesn't know how to deal with that.

And yet, and yet. There is some awful hope in him that simply will not die.

Love Is Scary. ;)

Re: Better late than never, right?

[oudeteron.livejournal.com]

Thanks for such a detailed answer! This was fun to read and insightful. And I think having a "character type" you like writing for is fair enough, or at least I'd be lying if I said I didn't see a pattern (or several patterns, but still) with the characters that are my favourites to write or read about. What you've said about Adrian here sounds spot-on to me, honestly. I'm glad I haven't been off in my understanding of the fic. :D
(Also, I chose this bit because I was feeling a little like Adrian the first time I read it minus the guilt for inadvertently messing up the world, especially the last line. So thanks again for indulging me!)

Re: Better late than never, right?

[anactoria.livejournal.com]

Hee, there's no need to thank me! Rambling at length about fictional characters is something I can never get enough of. ;)

Also, I chose this bit because I was feeling a little like Adrian the first time I read it minus the guilt for inadvertently messing up the world, especially the last line.

Oh dear! I hope things improved quickly.

Re: Better late than never, right?

[oudeteron.livejournal.com]

Well, that makes two of us. *is going to snatch this meme at some point* XD

Oh, they have. If you recall some of my more recent posts, you might guess why. ;)

Re: Better late than never, right?

[anactoria.livejournal.com]

I figure it has something to do with finding an awesome person of your very own, right? (Ugh, I hate using that phrase 'your own' to describe people's partners, but it's 1am here and my brain is refusing to come up with any better alternatives. Sorry!)

Re: Better late than never, right?

[oudeteron.livejournal.com]

It indeed might. ;) (Sure, I know you wouldn't use it to actually mean ownership. That would be a tad fucked-up!)