anactoria

Title: The Man Who Came to Be Dinner
Author: sw0rdy
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Bad language
Word Count: 3,634
Summary: Fucking vamps. His opinion of spending time with them prior to his arrival here had been somewhere between vacationing with Osama Bin Laden and genital herpes on a scale of experiences he'd enjoy. Now he'd gladly take both together over this.
Dean has been captured by a trio of vamps in Purgatory. His best hope of escape lies with two beings who can’t stand each other, working together to get him out. So, that’s no hope at all then...

Why you should read it: Okay, I'm a little prejudiced, because this was written in response to a prompt of mine at the hoodie_time wishlist meme, but that doesn't matter because IT'S WONDERFUL. This fic has one of the most perfect renditions of Dean's inner monologue I've ever read -- snarky and blackly hilarious, even when he's half-dead from blood loss. Cas and Benny's constant bickering is brilliant, too, though I pity poor Dean having to listen to a whole year of it! But it's touching, in among the humour, and has woozy-from-blood-loss Dean being heartbreaking surprised that his friends could put their differences aside long enough to rescue him, plus one of the most wonderfully astute observations about Dean's choice of Purgatory companions I've ever read (you'll know it when you see it.) This is a real gem. ♥